Positive self-talk is the conversation you have with yourself that’s encouraging, reassuring, and comforting. On tough days, when you feel overwhelmed by everything, positive self-talk can be your biggest support. It is a powerful way to transform your mindset.
How you talk to yourself—your internal dialogue—significantly influences your attitude towards life. Positive self-talk can empower you, while negative self-talk can pull you down. If your thinking habits drain your energy rather than encourage and support you, it may be time to adopt new strategies to shift these patterns.
Why Positive Self-Talk?
What we say to ourselves can convince us to believe certain qualities about us.
“Things never work out for me”.
“I can’t even manage small tasks; how will I handle bigger situations.”
“I am really lazy to work out.”
“I am not as talented as others.”
These statements are all examples of the negative self-talk we have with ourselves that we’re conditioned to, and sometimes, these voices behave as if they are on autopilot. It strips us of confidence and plants self-limiting beliefs that do no good.
Therefore, positive talk can be considered an antidote to negative self-talk. It can help us shift from a fixed and negative mindset to a growth mindset. It means believing that your qualities are not fixed and pre-determined but can be cultivated and refined.
Positive self-talk helps you become calmer on days when you are nervous. It means being your own cheerleader and life coach.
Positive self-talk causes mindset shifts and changes one’s outlook on life. It doesn’t change external circumstances, but it works on building resilience and self-belief for days when one needs it the most.
Kinds of Positive Self-Talk?
There are two general ways to practice positive self-talk:
1. Through Affirmations:
Affirmations can be used daily as a form of positive self-talk. They help reinforce belief in one’s own abilities and strengths. You can start your day positively by simply chanting your personalized set of affirmations or writing them down.
I prefer repeating my affirmations while sitting silently and focusing on my breath.
Some affirmations I use every morning are:
‘Everyday in everyway I am getting better and better.’
‘Each day, I move closer to realising my true potential and manifesting my goals.’
‘I manifest all my goals with ease and joy.’
‘I release the need to control everything, and I trust the process of my life.’
For more positive affirmations, consider reading:
2. Words of encouragement:
These are words that encourage you and support you when you feel overwhelmed. When you feel a lack of motivation to do anything, some words of encouragement can motivate you to take action.
Through these words, you become less critical of yourself and more supportive, looking for solutions rather than just dwelling on problems.
In this post, I’ll share examples of positive self-talk that can be used as personal mantras when dealing with different situations.
Positive Self-Talk Examples
Here are a few mantras to tell yourself on difficult days:
On facing tough obstacles:
When you face a problem that seems hard to navigate, the first step is acknowledging it. As we level up in life, so do our challenges. On such days, it’s important to remind yourself of how you’ve overcome struggles in the past.
“The circumstances may change, but you are the same capable person. Take a moment, understand the issue, and you’ll find a way through. Remember, everything is figureoutable.”
“Giving up is not the answer.”
This simple belief that everything is figureoutable gives a sense of empowerment and resilience in facing challenges.
When you are afraid to take the first step:
On days when even getting started on tasks and showing up feels difficult,
I ask myself, “How can I make this easier?”
Often, it’s not the daunting task but the thought of beginning. You can manage the initial resistance by breaking tasks into smaller steps and moving forward.
When faced with uncertainty and what-ifs:
When progress feels slow, and the path ahead seems shrouded in uncertainty, maintaining a steady course can be incredibly challenging. It’s during these moments that I remind myself of the inherent value in each small effort,
“Every action is a stepping stone toward my larger goals”.
It’s also helpful to remember that no one has ever achieved anything significant on their first try.
The anxiety of future uncertainties can freeze us and prevent us from taking action. Maybe you have an idea of a business, or want to start a podcast, or change your career, but the thinking habit of imagining every worst-case scenario can act as a barrier for taking that first step.
Overcoming this involves focusing on what is controllable, preparing adequately, and shifting the mindset from fear to curiosity about what positive outcomes might emerge.
When your mind gets clouded by worries that are stopping you from taking action, ask this simple question to yourself,
“Are the things that I’m worried about happening now?”
If the answer is no, then let anxiety take the back seat and bring your awareness to the present moment.
When you feel nervous before significant events:
Feeling nervous before significant events is commonly felt by all. But there were situations in the past that would freak me out to the point of getting panic attacks. Positive self-talk has helped me deal with that nervousness and anxiety with courage and calmness.
Here are what you can say to yourself on such days:
“I’m prepared for this, and I’m ready.”
“Breathe. Stay calm and focused.”
“You got this. All is well.”
Visualizing a positive outcome and the rewards you’ll give yourself can significantly reduce stress and increase motivation. It turns your focus towards the enjoyable aspects of life waiting on the other side of the event, reinforcing that stress is temporary and manageable. I visualize treating myself to ice cream or doing things that I had avoided while preparing for the event, and it makes me feel good and reminds me that I’ll be okay and through it.
Handling Rejection:
Often, when we face rejection or failure, we feel as if it’s the end of the opportunities and our potential. These feelings are natural and reflect our deep investment in desired outcomes. When these outcomes don’t materialize, it can feel as though a part of our identity or worth is being questioned.
So, here’s what you can say on days when you face rejection or failure:
“This is not the end. I can try again.”
“Every attempt teaches me something new.”
“It’s okay to feel disappointed, but I will not let it stop me.”
Last year, after a job interview didn’t turn out as I had hoped, I was disappointed, but I reminded myself that not everything is within my control. What I can manage is my effort and attitude. As for the rest, I’ve learned to let go and trust that the right opportunities will come along at the right time. This mindset helps me cope with disappointment and prepares me to seize future opportunities without the burden of past failures.
Dealing with criticism
When we are faced with criticism, it’s easy to let it all get to you and feel angry and disheartened. But in our professional and personal lives, we all have to receive and give criticism at some point.
It’s always helpful to distinguish between constructive criticism and toxic criticism. Some feedback is important for our growth, whereas some are just unnecessary opinions of people that can feel demoralizing and hurtful.
But if you are someone who has a tough time processing even the smallest of criticism, here’s how you can shift your mindset through positive self-talk:
“I appreciate that someone took the time to give me this feedback.”
“This isn’t about me. I know my worth”.
“I control how I respond to this. I choose to respond with dignity.”
Dealing with regret of making bad choices
Choices shape our lives, and sometimes, when we reflect on decisions that didn’t turn out well, we feel regret and wish we had chosen differently. It’s helpful to remind ourselves:
“I might have chosen differently, but I made that choice then and can’t change the past. However, I’ve learned something from it.”
When your decisions lead to unpleasant consequences, it’s good to tell yourself:
“Everything can be fixed. I can’t undo the past, but I have control over what I do now.”
It’s really important to take ourselves out of the guilt and regret of making mistakes and bad choices. You have to give yourself a chance to change things for the better. And that starts by convincing yourself that,
“My mistakes do not define me.”
What has helped me practice Positive Self-talk?
- Paying attention to my thoughts and emotions
Beginning to practice positive self-talk involves first observing your own thinking patterns. Pay attention to how your thoughts shape your emotions. By observing these thoughts, you can guide them towards positivity and constructiveness. It’s crucial, though, not to exhaust yourself by trying to scrutinize every thought. Focus on identifying broader trends and persistent thoughts influencing your mood and actions.
- Consuming Positive Thoughts
For me, immersing myself in a good book has been a game-changer. Books expose you to new worlds and ideas, profoundly shifting your viewpoint. They offer fresh, optimistic perspectives on various challenges, helping you reframe your view of the world and your role in it. Reading provides an escape from my own thoughts and introduces new, enriching concepts. Some books I find myself returning to often include: Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom, The Comfort Book by Matt Haig, The Bhagvad Gita, and works by Thich Nhat Hanh. I enjoy flipping to a random page to find comforting words and positive insights.
In addition to reading, watching inspiring movies and listening to motivational podcasts can help you develop positive self-talk habits.
- The Role of Journaling
Journaling has also been a crucial strategy in improving my mental health. It offers a private space to deeply reflect on my life. Sometimes, stepping back from a situation is necessary to see it more clearly, and writing facilitates this process. Journaling helps me process emotions and uncover the broader context of a situation, which might be missed at the moment.
Related: How to Start a Daily Journaling Routine
- Surround yourself with positive words.
Surrounding yourself with positive words like “You Got This”, “Better days are Coming”, “Dreams don’t work unless you do” help us to boost our mood and act as our cheerleaders.
Over time, these uplifting words help in lifting our spirits when we feel low. Write quotes and stick them on the wall, or have a mug that reminds you that happiness is in the little things. These are all little things we can do for our wellbeing.
So, start your journey to be your biggest cheerleader and mini-coach without hesitance.
You got this!!!!!!
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