One of the most profound discoveries of my personal growth journey was realizing how limiting beliefs played tricks on my mind.
I’ve learned that whenever I feel stuck, lost, or lacking in confidence, it’s usually due to the stories I’ve been repeating to myself until they solidified into ‘facts.’
These beliefs were unknowingly sabotaging my self-confidence, my growth, and my determination. In this post, I want to share the stories I had to stop telling myself so I could finally move forward.
Naming these stories or the limiting beliefs was the first step in reclaiming my power. Because I know how heavy these invisible weights can feel.
I’m certain that I’m not the only one holding these limiting beliefs. Most of us are walking around with ‘mental furniture’ that no longer fits the room.
So, as you read through these limiting beliefs, ask yourself: which of these am I mistaking for the truth?”
Limiting Beliefs to Unlearn to Protect Your Growth
1. “I have to find my passion before I can start.”
Most of us grew up hearing that we must find our “one true purpose,” and this pressure to be certain by a specific age can paralyze our growth especially when we are in the “in-between” phase of figuring things out.
This belief creates a massive barrier to entry because it suggests that if you don’t feel a 10/10 spark immediately, you are on the wrong path. In reality, passion is an output, not an input.
It is the byproduct of mastery and time.
Finding your passion requires truly understanding yourself first.. I am in my 30s, and I am still getting to know myself. If we wait until we have a perfect, static map of who we are before we move, we will never leave the starting line.
Instead, trade the search for passion for the pursuit of curiosity. Curiosity to know yourself, curiosity to learn, curiosity to go beyond your comfort zone, curiosity to know what happens when you make mistakes.
So, just like I have allowed myself to try different things and fail, allow yourself to fail, fall, and then discover your passion. I’ve realized that my passion is to share my knowledge as a teacher or as a blogger.
That makes me the most fulfilled when I get to do that.
2. “Everyone my age is more successful/settled/happy than I am. I’ve wasted too much time.”
This is perhaps the most common trick our minds play.
We look at someone else’s life and compare to our own’s not realizing that we’re all on our own individual, unique journeys. I do it all the time and is the number 1 reason I feel disappointed and overwhelmed.
This limiting belief can feel so overwhelming that it triggers a “freeze” response.
When you feel like you can’t win the race, you stop running altogether. It drains your determination and replaces it with envy and anxiety. And, that’s not at all a good place to be at.
You aren’t “behind“. You are gaining the specific experiences necessary for your unique path.
I replace that belief with, ““My timeline is not a yardstick for my worth. I am not behind; I am simply in the preparatory season of my own unique success story.”
3. “I need more information to make a decision.”
This is the classic trap that deceives us to believe that we’re being productive. We buy more books, watch more tutorials, and ask for more advice because it feels safer than taking a risk.
However, there is a limit to how much you can learn from the sidelines. Excessive research is often just a sophisticated form of procrastination.
I suffered from this back in 2020 when I stalled starting this blog for 3 years as I believed I was not prepared enough. I was in the perpetual state of preparing, learning tutorials, reading books, talking to bloggers, and giving up as it felt too overwhelming.
So, it’s better we realize sooner that action is the fastest form of research. And, waiting to be perfect and for the perfect time is just watering the weeds of procrastination.
Every time, I’m stuck with this limiting belief, I remind myself,
“I don’t need the whole map to take the first step; the next part of the path only reveals itself once I start moving.”
4. “My identity is tied to my current output.”
You are so much more than your work. You are so much more than the results you produce or the titles you hold. You are so much more than your bank balance.
When you’re in the “figuring it out” phase, your output might be low or messy. If you believe you are your work, then a failed project feels like a failed soul.
This makes the stakes of trying something new feel dangerously high.
Separate your Self from your Service. You are the scientist, and your life is the laboratory. If an experiment fails, the scientist is still brilliant. They just have better data for the next test.
Tell yourself: I have can fail, pivot, and experiment without losing an ounce of my value.
5. “I need everyone’s approval before I move.”
We often treat the opinions of our parents, friends, and peers as if they are the final judges of our lives.
We wait for a green light from those around us to validate our life stages. But most people will only approve of the paths they understand and they may never understand a path that hasn’t been walked before.
If you wait for a consensus before you take a step, you will remain frozen.
They aren’t trying to hold you back; they are simply trying to keep you in the “safe” zone they’ve built for themselves.
So, instead of creating a life to please everyone else other than yourself, let go of the limiting belief that you need everyone’s approval before you move.
Remind yourself:
“I am the ultimate authority on my own life. I value the perspective of others, but I do not require their permission to change, to fail, or to begin again.”
That’s how you move forward, that’s how you build a life you desire, that’s how you love yourself, that’s how you protect your peace.
6. “Changing my mind is a sign of weakness.”
I used fear changing my mind as I feared that I would be considered a failure and weak. And, yes, I might have been called that when I quit my Bachelors in Science with Chemistry Honours.
It affected my self-esteem until I reframed this change of mind as one of the best decision of my life.
We worry that if we pivot, we’ll be seen as someone who can’t finish what they started. This fear traps us in the “Sunk Cost Fallacy” which is the dangerous idea that we must keep investing in a path that no longer serves us simply because we’ve already spent time, money, or energy on it.
But staying on the wrong path does no good once you’ve realized things are not working, be it your career, or relationships. Pivoting means you’ve gathered new data, listened to your internal compass, and were brave enough to admit that your previous destination is no longer your home.
Remember, “Changing my mind is a sign of intelligence and a testament to my willingness to listen to my own evolution.”
7. “The world is already too crowded for my idea.”
This is one of the most common thoughts that used to occur to me. With the internet, it’s easy to feel like every niche is full.
It assumes that because someone else is doing something, there is no room for your voice.
Always, Remember that people buy people, not just products or ideas.
There are thousands of bakeries, yet people still open new ones every day. Why? Because your specific “flavor”, your story, your personality, and your perspective, is something no one else can replicate.
If you are someone who is contemplating about starting something and have second thoughts about it, remember that everything has been done, but it hasn’t been done by you, through your lens, with your specific history.
The robin does not stop singing because the bluejay is louder, and the owl does not wait for the forest to go silent before it finds its voice.
Final Thoughts
Unlearning these beliefs is an ongoing and often a lifelong process. As we are navigating our lives, our beliefs can be the cages that confine us and hold power over us.
But once you’re aware of the limiting beliefs and the stories that your mind makes you believe, you are once step closer to reclaiming power over your beliefs.
These mindset shifts will give you assurance when you feel overwhelmed and stuck.
So, tune in to your thoughts, what are those negative and limiting beliefs you’ve been holding?
What empowering beliefs are you going to replace it with?
